Re: Criticism, anyone?

by jascarly123zo Sat Jul 23, 2011 8:00 pm

lol yea, I did the pinching nose thing right after I read your post xD I went into the shower after getting off and I sang with my voice all naselly xDD So darn fun!~

Wow, your a really good critic! You should...become..a critic! /fail xD

by Seitanoshuuki Wed Jul 27, 2011 11:50 am

^LOL It's just criticism in disguise. >D /evil

So.... any new costumers? Shuu is bored. *flail*

by RouvrirFleur Wed Jul 27, 2011 10:40 pm

Me! Me! > <
Well, It's my old cover.. :I

:D
*hides behind a tree

by Seitanoshuuki Thu Jul 28, 2011 7:00 am

Whoo~! Leia~!!!! <3 Alright, so....

Things to work on:
1. Pitching: I feel that you're going just a teensy bit flat here and there. >_> It's not a big problem, and the vast majority of the song is well in tune. However, it's easy to associate a flat tone with boredom, so even just that little bit makes it seem less whole-hearted. Also, a few of those "Leia"s seem to be a bit of a challenge. Push more from your diaphragm~!! =D

2. Nasal-ness: I think almost everyone has this problem. -_-" (<-has it too) It's very light, though, so you're almost there! ^_^

3. Sing more freely~! I feel like you're trying to get that emotional, choked sound at certain points, but there's not enough... air, I guess. You need a strong.... (oh gawd. I know this word in Chinese, but not in English?!) ...it's like... an undercurrent, I guess would be the way I'd translate it. It's what makes certain people's voices seem really strong - the width of voice? I try to do this every so often, since I think it's really cool if you can pull it off right, but it always fails since my voice is really thin. Ha...ha...

I think it would help if you released some of the tension from your throat and used more air at these spots.

Clearing up 2 and 3 above would definitely make your singing less restrained and more enjoyable to listen to, I think. =D MORE AIR~!!! (<-what everyone needs, lol)

4. Connectedness - Your syllables are really clearly spit out (which is really good!), but sometimes, you make the attack sharply, and then the sound kind of fades. This kind of disconnects your phrases into little islands of music and throws off the listener a little. Hm... A good example of where you didn't do this (ie. it was good) would be the stanza that starts from 1:07.

5. My humble opinion, but I think you don't sound... "pained" enough in this song? Neutral

Someone told me once to focus less on singing the lyrics and more on singing the song, and I'm gonna pass this on to you. I know it's hard to think about it when you're preoccupied with trying to read the romaji =_=, but I think you can definitely take your singing to the next level by synching your singing to the style of music, the meaning of the song, etc.

Things you did well:
1. Timing: This is so on time~!!!!! <333 I have huge troubles with this, for some reason, Ha...ha...

so good job!

2. Enunciation: Your syllables are really clear! This is really good, since otherwise, the listener can't understand what you're singing, and the content of the lyrics gets lost.

3. Tone: Your voice comes across really clearly, and the tone is very pleasant to listen to. Happiness

Hope I was at least somewhat helpful~!

by jascarly123zo Thu Jul 28, 2011 7:08 am

*ninja's in* ^ .....What's the word in chinese? Maybe I can translate! 8D /shot
My mom wants me to become a translator cause they make alot of money XDDD

by Seitanoshuuki Thu Jul 28, 2011 8:30 am

jascarly123zo wrote:*ninja's in* ^ .....What's the word in chinese? Maybe I can translate! 8D /shot
My mom wants me to become a translator cause they make alot of money XDDD

LOL Yeah, that's a good job, I think. You also get to travel and meet important people and all that. *A*

"底气" is what I wanted to say.

by MichiChan Tue Aug 02, 2011 4:27 pm

<shot multiple times> 8'D

by jascarly123zo Tue Aug 02, 2011 4:58 pm

Seitanoshuuki wrote:
jascarly123zo wrote:*ninja's in* ^ .....What's the word in chinese? Maybe I can translate! 8D /shot
My mom wants me to become a translator cause they make alot of money XDDD
LOL Yeah, that's a good job, I think. You also get to travel and meet important people and all that. *A*

"底气" is what I wanted to say.

..THEY DO?!? Hehe, maybe one day, I'll get to translate for a manga maker! 8D (If I ever take up that job; and if I ever learn japanese! 8DD /fail)

Hmm, I guess that meaning trans;ate into engrish would be..."To have an emboldened or stonger and more confident voice"? 0_O Ack, i'm bad at this xDD ...Is there such a thing as a one way translator? XD

by Seitanoshuuki Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:43 am

@Jas: LOL See, it's an awkward one, isn't it? @_@
On the topic of translating, one of my friends does is the translator for a scanlation team, which I think is one of the most awesome things a person can be. @_@

@Michi-chan: Wha~! A new cover~!!!! Sorry it took so long for me to get around to critiquing it, but here it is~!

.....Michi-chan, I'm very sorry, but you've exceeded what I can critique. Confused

I can't say much about this until my own skill improves. OTL It seems minorly pitchy at one or two spots, especially on the higher notes, but otherwise, I'M SO SORRY I CAN'T BE HELPFUL. TT^TT *goes to practice*

...^What that means is... it was too good for me to say anything about. OTL I'm sorry. >______________>

by jascarly123zo Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:48 am

...Scanlation team? *googles*

And IKR?!? Her cover ish sho good! *w* lol I was trying to e a scritic for once like you and failed miserably on my first try xD

Oh yea, Daddy~~ Can you critisize my newest cover? (cant post links right now; it's in my siggy~)

by Seitanoshuuki Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:18 am

Actually, just before I clicked "Play" on Michi-chan's video, I was thinking about what I would do if someone really pro came and post a cover here and was like, "So, Shuu. 8D What do you think?" lol And I think I'd be all like, "orz. I'm so honoured, but I'm sorry, it's just too pro. *shrinks*" LOLOLOL And then I clicked "play." 8D

@Jas: Of course~! I'm gonna make this kinda short and break my format though.

Very breathy~ It quite fits the music-box sound, but you're still lacking some air support. It feels like a lot or your air is just lost to the breathiness and not enough goes into the actual sound you send to the mic.

Your entries are sometimes a split second late. Come in with confidence and energy, but not so strongly that you overshoot the music!

Also, same as last time, your sound is restrained! It's important that you relax, especially on the high notes, or else you're going to have a hard time hitting them and it's going to sound strained.

^_^ But this is really cute~! The harmonies could be faded a little bit more into the background, maybe? Might make the sound a bit cleaner.

Hm... YOU NEED TO SOUND HAPPIER~!!! lol It's actually a tiny bit of flatness in your singing, and bringing it up will automatically fix a bit part of this.

EDIT: lol Looking at this, it seems I just shouldn't deviate from my format, or else it becomes all criticism. 8D I do like it though. I'm just bad at being like, "WOWOWOW GOOD JOB HERE AND HERE~!!!"

by jascarly123zo Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:35 am

Ahahaha~~ X3 lol The videos can read your mind! @w@

Thanks for all thecritisism you gave me!~ <33 I appreciate it very much!

Okay, lets see how I defend myself (XD)...

I was actually /trying/ to sound all breathy and soft....to fit the music box theme....Wow. Papa! You can read minds! *clap clap*
And about the timing...>< I don't know what happened. I know that audacity sometimes lags by about .5 seconds, but I guess I didn't hear it this time..

I tried following your instructions like last time when I was practicing (which is like, everyday. I just random belt out the song so I can relax and hit the high notes xD) but when I went to actually record the thing, I sudenly got all nervous. >_<' I'll try harder next time, I promise!

And lastly, the harmonies..I guess I should've made the harmonies at the La's stay lightly in the background huh? >< I just thought that I should've made the harmonies stand out more, but I guess it was too much D'8
And uh...how to I sound more happy when singing? I was actually feeling a bit drowsy after singing multiple takes because music box music almost always make me sound slepy xD You can hear it through my singing? Bravo! *clap clap*

Also, I'm not that good at complimenting people either. I'm only good at pointing mistakes and I'm not even that good at that xD (..I guess I can be tsundere...? But! I'm learning not to be like that by learning not to feel embarressed when I'm thanking someone or saying Sorry...)

Looking at what I just type, it feels like i'm at therapy XDD

by Seitanoshuuki Thu Aug 04, 2011 9:05 am

^Yeah, I get nervous when I've got the mic in front of me too. *shot*

If you smile, you'll automatically feel happier~! Plus, it'll prevent you from going flat! You'll... just feel a little bit ridiculous. 8DDD

Haha, you don't need therapy. You just need time. ^_^

Speaking of critiquing, would someone like to offer some comments on my singing? 8D Since I'm always the one tearing into other people's covers. 8DDD

Perfect Crime

No video yet, since I only did it for practice. I'll probably re-record, etc. before actually uploading.
...No mix on this, no noise removal, etc. Sorry if it sound horrid. OTL

by MichiChan Thu Aug 04, 2011 1:24 pm

Ehhhhh QuQ. Thank you >A<~ Yeah I have a habit of going flat I guess ;A;. Either that or it was hard to transition from head voice and regular voice so many times @A@

by j a y c e Mon Aug 08, 2011 1:29 am

I wish i could critique for people, but i honestly suck at giving tips, hints and advice when it comes to singing OTL

But anyway, i was just wondering if anyone could critique a demo of a black jack demo i've had floating about my desktop for a little bit. It's a self duet so i tried to make two different voices. Unfortunately, i dont think it went so well.

Here it is! Sorry it's not on youtube. @U@"

Im planning on re-recording as soon as i get a new mic ( My current one is broken. ), and all i have atm is just half the song.. ( considering that this is a short song in general. ) So yeah. @U@

If anyone is up to it, i'd gladly appreciate it!

by razra Mon Aug 08, 2011 11:15 am

Seitanoshuuki wrote:Speaking of critiquing, would someone like to offer some comments on my singing? 8D Since I'm always the one tearing into other people's covers. 8DDD

Perfect Crime

No video yet, since I only did it for practice. I'll probably re-record, etc. before actually uploading.
...No mix on this, no noise removal, etc. Sorry if it sound horrid. OTL

The voices are kinda hard to hear over the music so it's a little hard to say anything concrete D:

and sorry, I'm pretty amateur in terms of giving advice... Dx

There were a few wrong notes in both parts, and it sounds like the guy voice is straining quite a bit to get to the lower notes and was a bit nasally. So relax! It will be easier to hit the lower notes (at least I find.. @__@ ) It was also particularly difficult to hear the guy's voice, so you might wanna turn that up when mixing.

Both parts also lacked attitude, but I understand that this was just practice~ <3

Overall, I still enjoyed it! The harmony was nice and the male voice is pretty convincing~ Teach me to genderbend! *shot*

j a y c e wrote:I wish i could critique for people, but i honestly suck at giving tips, hints and advice when it comes to singing OTL

But anyway, i was just wondering if anyone could critique a demo of a black jack demo i've had floating about my desktop for a little bit. It's a self duet so i tried to make two different voices. Unfortunately, i dont think it went so well.

Here it is! Sorry it's not on youtube. @U@"

Im planning on re-recording as soon as i get a new mic ( My current one is broken. ), and all i have atm is just half the song.. ( considering that this is a short song in general. ) So yeah. @U@

If anyone is up to it, i'd gladly appreciate it!

Oh my, sexy voice! O_____________________________O

Haha, I'm also really bad at giving advice, so forgive me.. D:

Yea, I agree, it's really difficult to tell that there are two voices. I didn't even realize that it was a self-duet until I read the your comment @__@;

I'm actually not too familiar with this song, but everything sounds pretty good... In fact, I don't think I can give any advice... @___@;;

Maybe someone else can be of more help :O

..and.. I wanna stalk you ^___________________________________________________^

-------------------------------------

I also need help.. I can't decide how to sing this song.. like, should I just scream all the chorus? Or cry? I also have issues singing in the right key, so I'm sorry if I get it wrong again.. OTL
Bad screaming alert! OTL
I'm sorry for your ears! ||||||OTL

http://www.4shared.com/audio/vPNXS6uG/Baby_Baby_Goodbye_eng_mixdown0.html?

also, if someone could have a gander at this song~ It was a redo of my first cover, so I'm particularly interested in hearing how I can improve~ <3

by jascarly123zo Wed Aug 10, 2011 2:28 pm

lmao xD All your voices are too awesome for me to say anything bad or critic to >w<
Hmmm, razra! lol I just noticed that your cover was supposed to be n english xD Thought it was russian at first @w@ I think that one thing you need to do to improve is....to make the BGM softer so we can hear your voice and words better! 8D

...I REALLY can't say anything else to help...>w< Papa's voice sounds even when not mixed properly~ And JayJay's(lol i hope you dont mind X3) voice is just...<33 ^^

by j a y c e Fri Aug 12, 2011 2:55 am

@razra:
I don't usually upload or finish my covers very often though,
and adding in that i don't have a mic to sing with atm..
All i can say is that im sorry to tell you there isn't much to stalk.. ; v;
But anyway! Thanks for the critique! I'll probably end up making it a solo whenever i get the chance to re-record! o vob

As for some advice/critique on your baby baby goodbye cover, ( Which i will attempt to give, since you were so kind to do so for me ; v; ( note:this may get long ) I think maybe holding off on the idea of screaming throughout the entire song would be my first suggestion. Although screaming for an entire song would be quite awesome, doing so for this song wouldn't work out as well, as screaming doesn't seem to fit the feel or general genre of the song, in my honest opinion; However, that being said, that doesn't mean you have take out the screaming bits ultimately just because i said so. From what I've heard so far, I can definitively say that what you have going right now works--So now all that's left is to try adding and tuning a couple things. For starters, instead of focusing on doing actions like screaming or crying alone in the song, try focusing on adding more emotion to the cover. I know that with the given melody of a song, it may seem like the mood is already there, but in my retrospect, adding in your own emotion that fits into the song makes it sound that much better.
Also, instead of screaming the.. screaming parts, try raising your voice and tone instead, in a sense that you're yelling, but not. Think of it like being angry. Make it feel like you're telling someone an important message that they NEED to hear. Make it raw, and as strong as you can. This way, you can emphasize parts the same way screaming does, but with a more firm emotion.
BUT on the other hand, if you do want to still stick with screaming, keep in mind of a couple things. If you do scream without the proper breathing and vocal techniques, your sound WILL most likely go off pitch as well as come off as constricted and strangled. When you scream, you are ( most of the time ) forcing strenuous amounts of sound and air out all at once, so in suit, this does cause tension in your neck muscles and throat. This means that your sound will come out the same way it feels, and in general, it is NOT healthy for your voice or your throat. Now in saying this, i am not discouraging you from screaming in your cover, but rather, just noting that proper screaming DOES take proper technique, time and practice to pull off a proper sound.
I might know little about screaming, but here's a tip. Make space for air, and support it and your sound from your diaphragm. Otherwise, try googling some tips and tricks on google! o vob

As for hitting the proper notes and pitches, try going over the original song a couple times without singing, and hum/whistle the melody. As much as you can, try matching the rhythm and general pitch of the sound, and remember to correct yourself as you hit anything that doesn't sound right to you. Lastly, don't be afraid of making mistakes. Go over parts as much as you'd like, and get that sucker stuck in your head. Eventually add words as you go, keeping the melody in mind, and then blam; by then, you should have a very well tuned product. Practice makes perfect, as they always say.

That's about it, i guess. I probably went overboard, so sorry for that.. >w<" I hope it didn't sound too mean or anything~ @U@

Oh and just to add in a quick critique and tip on your moziak role cover, ( which you did awesome with! ) try to enunciate the lines and words better so they are clearer and easier to understand. At some points your words are hard to make out as well as some sections where they sometimes just cut off. Im not sure if this is a technical problem with volume or the acoustics during the recording, ( Which it possibly may be. ) but that's just something that caught my ear while i gave it a quick listen. Otherwise you did a very nice job! o vob

@jascarly:
lol, feel free to call me by any nickname you want; just as long as you run it by me. I have a ton, so im totally okay with it! ( It's also fun to see what people can come up with. )
And thank you(?) ; v; my voice isn't much but i appreciate the mention. >U<"

by RouvrirFleur Fri Aug 12, 2011 5:54 pm

Thanks for the criticism > <
I want your criticism again~
Ama no Jaku
And
Fail ganderbend lol

by MichiChan Mon Aug 15, 2011 3:58 pm

Pft. I failed the vocalizations and volumizing Quq/;;

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