Criticism, anyone?

@ChoAkkar @mong @Silver @AwysaChan
Sent PMs to you guys

Please feel free to throw my own criticisms back at me. :D Even though I wrote quite a lot there, I'm not an expert at all (obviously, I'm here on this topic, haha) . I just really like songs and can't help but want to sing them, because they get stuck in my head, hahaha.

Criticism for these two:
Tokyo Metropolis Rock City
Guriguri Megane to Gekkouchuu
But criticisms on the other videos found at my channel, would be appreciated~!

I know I probably didn't have enough power for tokyo metro and I failed some notes in Gekkouchuu, but please, if anyone has the time, I'd be happy to receive more suggestions and criticisms on my singing. ^^
The mixing is.. well, it's dead, so no need to criticize it, it criticizes itself. lol.
I would like to learn more about mixing, too, definitely, but for now... singing first, I guess. :D :D

Thanks in advance!!!!

(I wonder if this is clean enough... Please tell me if it's not! Thanks!)

ATTENTION ALL THOSE ASKING FOR CRITICISM

I've noticed recently that this forum is actually in quite a mess due to the mixture of both video spamming and critiques mashed all-in-one. In order to fix this, I propose that you post whatever you want to be critiqued and people can just PM/Skype/etc you instead with their critiques. That way this wouldn't be so messy.

It'll give you a chance to talk to each other as well. ^_^

Would it be better that way?

Oh! okay, sure, will go clean out my post and send them as PM's then. Hehe. sorry for the mess!

So now it's time for me to post two songs you can flame at if you liek XD


and


arigatou xD

I think your cover of Boku Mote is a bit too dull.... it needs to be a bit joyful and a bit cheeky and cute but the laugh gave the dub points :D

Constructive Criticism accepted,
Insults are to be thrown out of the window :D

Cantarella
Toeto (Originally by Luka)

Okay these are the two I would really like criticism on. I really want to improve, but I'm either getting no comments at all or getting vague compliments.

I'd rather get constructive crits. :D Just shoot me.

I'd appreciate any and all crits c: Details are in the uploader comments..

Ahh... /feels embarassed..

I've been working on this song(Koi wa Sensou) for some time now, and I just can't get it right. This song is extremely hard for me to sing but I love it. I get really shreaky during the chorus parts, Please tell me what to do so I don't sound like that ;A; I also changed my voice after the chorus. It's slightly deeper, which one do you think suits this song more? Please feel free to critique anything else, I can take it. PLEASE lower down your volume, it can get pretty loud

http://www.box.net/shared/h3pqqplz91

Yeah, creative title, huh?

So, being the forum stalker I am, I noticed that lots of us dubbers are hungry for constructive criticism/ways to improve our singing and toss our latest covers out to the mercy of the rest of the community without much of a response. The idea behind this thread is, in essence, "post a cover" x "say something based on the post above" = "critique the cover in the post above."

To demonstrate, person in post #2 listens to and offers some feedback on the cover in post #1 (not just, "It was good!" but comments like, "Maybe you should turn down the background music a little!"), then posts their own cover. Person in post #3 critiques cover in post #2, etc. You get the idea.

Rules for this thread: (Yes, there must be rules.)

1. Do not flame/insult/attack/otherwise put down anyone. We're all here because we aren't pros at singing. (But you're all nice people, so I'm sure there won't be a problem.)
2. Please refrain from posting the same cover in this thread too many times. Not only is this a little annoying, you are also undermining the goodwill of everyone who has already given you feedback on it. We want to see you post new covers so we can see your improvement!
3. Please try to take critiquing seriously. You came here for tips on improving your singing, and so did everyone else.

Please embed your video link for ease of viewing!

NOTE: If you only came to visit this thread, have no covers to post, etc., please feel free to comment on any of the posted videos! If the person who posted before you did not post a cover/was only responding to comments on his/her video, please offer feedback on the last posted video so we can keep it going. Thank you and have fun!

Right, let's start off!

Spoiler:

There's already a thread like this here:
https://ytchorus.forumotion.com/t773-criticism-anyone?highlight=criticism

It's a sorta..dead but nonetheless it has the same concept as this thread xD;;

(orz Totally didn't know. Thanks for the heads-up. At this point, do I keep this thread or attempt to revive the other thread? Is it even okay to revive something that's been dead for ages? :/ )

For continuities sake, I think we should revive the old thread. But I like your explanation and title more.... I wonder. Maybe we can use this for now. If needed, I'll just merge the two topics later on.

(^Alright! Thanks, Kenta-san!

*Waits for replies*)

Well, uh, I don't think Kenta's got around to doing this yet, so I'll merge the topic! A-...A month late, hahaaa. /shot Hopefully the old thread will get some life after this little merger. 8'D

(Haha, didn't realize the topics had been merged. >_>)

-BUMP-

Shuu is willing to be a critic; would anyone like anything critiqued?

@Hikari: Okay.... ready? I warn you that I am a harsh critic.....

Some things to maybe fix:
1. Pitching - you're a little off at some points. The high notes... I know it feels like you have more control this way, but it sounds a little restrained. Practice singing those higher pitches until you can sing them without needing to tighten your throat so much.

2. Timing: You're a bit behind on a few notes, and you stole a short march on a few other. It's not a big issue, but I've noticed that being just a little bit off creates massive problems when you try to sing choruses. @_@

3. Enunciation: Work those facial muscles! Japanese is a highly syllabic language, so it sounds garbled if you don't spit out the syllables clearly.

4. Breath support: You're running just a little short of breath on the long phrases, and I feel that you're rushing a little to finish before you need to breathe. Also, keeping a strong, steady stream of air could improve your tone and make your voice stronger.

5. Entries: You come in a little weakly, but then pick up momentum as you continue to sing. The entry creates a strong first impression of the singing that is to come, so try to make sure you come in confidently.


Things you did well (because it's also important to know):
1. The feeling of the song: You've got the right idea!
2. Song choice: You chose a good song for your vocal range and tone. This is actually surprisingly difficult to do, I think!

The combination of these two make your cover very convincing. It gives the feeling of, "Yes, this song should be sung like this."

3. Breathing: Good~! You didn't cut your phrases with awkwardly-placed breaths. :3


Extra comments: The adlib in the middle was definitely on the right track, I think. However, I think the way your said that phrase.... wasn't quite right. >_> Watch anime? xDDD


Hope I wasn't too harsh. >_> I'm a picky person...

^_^ Anytime. To be honest, I think my critique is harsher than it could be.

.........what I'm trying to say is, "You sound good." orz I'm just terrible at saying things straight up.

REVIVAL!!!~~

I'd like criticism on a few of my cover...if that's okay...



and one of my flute cover: (sorry, this one's a bit long - 10 minuetes XD)

^Anytime~!

Singing:

Things to work on:
1. Don't be afraid! Your sound is really cute, but you sound a little restrained. You're cutting back on your breath support because you're trying to keep the volume down and the pitches under control. It's important to develop the control necessary to sing your heart out!

2. Free up your sound: Sounding a little nasal there! Try to keep the sound a little further back in your mouth - they say that you should be able to sing normally even if you pinched your nose shut! (<-Actually, this is really difficult... Shuu has had little success with that too...)

3. Big voice~!!! The background music for Megassa Koukishin is decently soft, and your singing is better and more confident in it, so it's not a big problem. For Mosaik Role, however, you're kind of getting drowned out by the music. We need to hear your singing, so bring the bgm volume down and your vocal volume up! (<-ideally, you do not do this by sliding the bar on your audio track in Audacity. 8D)

4. Breath support: Your singing is well on-pitch, but the sound is a little flat. (Does that make any sense?) Giving it more air will make you sound more confident and raise the overall level of your performance. :3 You may have to breath more frequently, but you'll need more air also to make it to the end of those long phrases!

5. Musical style: Now, this isn't as bad as it sounds. It was actually quite good in Megassa Koukishin. In Mosaik Role, though, I feel like you haven't fully grasped the mood of the song. This is a very dynamic song, and needs quite a bit of power. Don't sacrifice your own style, but try to fit your singing to the style of the song a bit!


Things you did well:
1. Pitching and timing: For singing the right notes at the right time, congratulations~! Rhythm is the most fundamental basis of all music! (<-...Although Shuu is bad at this. ;_

2. Breathing: Jas also takes breaths at opportune moments! Good for you! Breathing at the wrong time disrupts your phrases and makes your singing seem less pro, so this is very good~!



Flute covers:

Things to work on:
1. Crispness - flutes carry the melody more often than not in a band (<-also played flute for a while), and when they're not doing that, they're likely doing some crazy high run up 5 notes, then down 5 notes, then back up... -_-" You know how it is. It's quite difficult with some fingerings, but your playing could definitely benefit from cleaning things up. Make sure your fingers are there before your breath is, or the notes will slur into each other. For repeated notes as well, your attack needs to be precise or you won't be able to distinguish between the notes.

2. Don't rush! The rhythm becomes a little messed up here and there because you're stealing some time. Try to relax a bit~!

3. I CAUGHT THAT TRILL. >_> A little more air support on that~!


Things you did well:
1. Tone: I really like your tone~! Moreover, you have a good sense for the music and the sound of the flute. This makes your music very easy to enjoy!

2. Air support, for the most part: Your high notes are well supported, and your phrases are well-linked together. (Flute wastes so much air! You must have good lung capacity~ use it in your singing to your advantage~!)


Hope I was helpful~! ^_^

(And yeah... I... kind of procrastinated because I saw three videos and went "OMG." 8D)

Ehehe, thanks alot! Your advice is reallly good! I'll definitely keep those tips in mind next time I record!

And actually, I have a somewhat medium case of asthma, so I don't have good lung capacity xDD But I enjoy playing theflute and somehow, my asthma doesn't take any toll on my playing! 8D

For volume control, I was a bit more confident in Megassa Koukishin than I was in Mosaic Roll. In Mosaic Roll, I was a bit shy about my adlibs in the beginning and then my throat was getting clogged up due to drinking milk before recording...>w< I kept hacking during takes xD

And lastly, maybe the reason for me soundinf nasally is because I was singing in my falsetto voice? I don't know how that ties together with sounding nasally, but I have these two voices which I call "My speaking/talking voice" and my "Singing voice" XD Do those exsist? Or am I the only one that does that with my voice...?

^SAME. OTL Darn asthma.... I learned to swim, did karate for three years, played the flute for two, sang in choir for 6 years.... and finally, I sound like a normal person half the time.

Don't be shy~! Just... do multiple takes. -_-"

About the nasally thing: I understand completely. Non-natural voices are almost always nasally, even if it's a pro NND utaite. T^T (vip店長....) Same thing happens to me up or down an octave from my normal speaking voice. Do the exercises like pinch your nose and sing/hold your nostrils open and sing~! 8DDD It's ridiculous but fun, and it kinda works. 8D