Futuristic Imagination (english adaption)

...Ohhay, this ain't a Vocaloid song. *shotdead*

Eh, I'm not the best at writing English translyrics, but I like to write them from time to time. /o/ And I also love school food punishment, so this was bound to happen sooner or later. 8'D I took uh... loads of liberties with this to make it flow better, btu I hope it still retains the original emotion ;A;

Any feedback or critique would be much appreciated! 8D There are still some bit I don't really like, but I have no idea how to fix them. So. |D

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Futuristic imagination
[link to original https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aiuk-NUaBs ]

Trapped in the night fall, Can't let the darkness reach me; or I'll fade away
Lost in the chaos, trying to find a way out; I've lost all my reason

Floating, like a dream;
drowning myself, in the hazy paths where the future leads
To you; now I see, I can forgive, only if, you'll stay with me

Take in the twilight; the sounds of the night
I'll take their everlasting change into my stride
Take all my chances; and search for the light
Someday I'll break the bonds of my fate and reach ahead

Rewind in slow motion, wipe away tears that once fell; an air-dried despair
Prepare for our visions; welcome the transmutation-- let's go back again

Shaking, like your words;
on endless repeat, ringing like a siren that goes unheard
by me; now I see, you cannot stay, and for me, you'd fade away

Floating, like a dream, drowning myself;
I am awake. breakthrough; you will leave, but still I will forgive you,
Cause right now, I see the truth

Tell me your secrets; tell me your lies
Tell me of everlasting change, before the light dies
Tell me of justice, seen through your eyes
Even if destiny forgets me; I'll move ahead

Take in the twilight; the sounds of the night
I'll take their everlasting change into my stride
Take all my chances; and search for the light
Someday I'll break the bonds of my fate and reach ahead

Someday I'll break the bonds of my fate and reach for you

AHHHHHH!!! Eden of the East

...fanboying aside, this is pretty good.

The translyrics make sense~ though i'm having some problem trying to fit the beginning part... but all in all, the words can work. The last few verses fit really well too. Well done, mong! ouo

Whew! I'm glad it made sense at least, I was worried it would come out like a mess of unintelligle stuff. ><

Which part in the beginning would you be talking about? I think I have an idea of where you'd mean, but just for clarification 8'D

mong wrote:drowning myself, in the hazy paths where the future leads
To you; now I see, I can forgive, only if, you'll stay with me

In particular i had a hard time singing to this line. o3o

When I found these, I immediately printed them out and sang the song many, many times. ^_^

Most lyrics worked perfectly and the overall meaning stayed intact. Those that are italicized were hard to sing, though. But even in the Japanese version those parts were hard to sing (the singer has a really unique voice...).

About the 'Rewind in slow motion', it does fit but I always forget to put in room for 'motion'. So instead it sounded like 'Rewind in slow mo-'.This problem did not come up with the next verse, 'Prepare for your visions;', so I guess I need practice.

The chorus translyrics fit very well, though! It was fun to sing them over and over again!

Just a request: could you also write the translyrics for Future Nova by School Food Punishment?

mong wrote:
Floating, like a dream;
drowning myself, in the hazy paths where the future leads
To you; now I see, I can forgive, only if, you'll stay with me

Rewind in slow motion, wipe away tears that once fell; an air-dried despair
Prepare for our visions; welcome the transmutation-- let's go back again

Shaking, like your words;
on endless repeat, ringing like a siren that goes unheard
by me; now I see, you cannot stay, and for me, you'd fade away

Floating, like a dream, drowning myself;
I am awake. breakthrough; you will leave, but still I will forgive you,
Cause right now, I see the truth

Thanks for the feedback, you two~ 8'D Hahaa, I figured it was going to be the prechorus that had the most problems because of the crazy melody. I'll have a look over it in my free time and see if I can find stuff that fits it better XD

As for Future Nova, I'll probably try it out 8D I love that song anyways, so 8'D