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English Assessment help, anyone?

4 posters

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English Assessment help, anyone?  Empty English Assessment help, anyone?

Post by Hikari Mon Dec 19, 2011 3:09 pm

Okay so, for the last few days I've been working on a creative writing task.
I've re-read it about 6-7 times. And I'm still not satisfied.
Here's the task.

Task: Imagine you have been stranded on an exotic island. You are limited in terms of supply, however, you do have you diary. Write a blog/diary entry about your experiences on this exotic.

Success Criteria (notes, scribbled. Sorry if they don't make much sense!):
Characters (dialogue + monologue)
Spelling
Grammar
Punctuation
Figurative Language
Realistic
Focused
Literary Devices: similies, metaphors, personification, alliteration, etc.
1st person

I'm in Year 9 / Grade 8 (I think). I'm 13. Please don't think I can write essays of amazing-ness filled stuff like pro authors or something, as much as I wish I could. Q AQ)/

Based on the information I've given~, can you please give some constructive criticism on my writing assessment?

(placed in the spoiler below. Beware, it's a really large chunk of text!)
(oh and I stole some lines from The Little Prince, and one from Heart Rate #0822. Just had to point that out.)
(OH AND THE NAMES HAVE NO SIGNIFICANCE. THEY DON'T RESEMBLE ANYONE. They just randomly popped up in my head when writing this.)

Spoiler:

You are free to make any edits if necessary. Thank you!
Hikari
Hikari
Keyboard Smasher

Singing Alias : ❄ヒカリ Posts : 1958
Join date : 2011-03-20
Age : 25
Location : space

Monthly Theme Participant (1/4) Monthly Theme Participant (2/4) Monthly Theme Participant (3/4)

https://www.youtube.com/c/hikariboo

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Post by LiteS0ul Sun Jan 08, 2012 1:56 am

-randomly lurking the forum-
Awww Hikari~ You're a good writer! >w< Did you turn it in yet? What score did'ya get???? It's okay if you don't wanna tell me~
LiteS0ul
LiteS0ul
Conversationalist

Singing Alias : _ Posts : 277
Join date : 2011-08-06
Location : California


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Post by Hikari Thu Feb 09, 2012 1:35 pm

UN~ I TURNED IT IN. I'M SORRY THIS IS SO LATE. LMAO.
I got a level 7H~ (7 high) Which is really good, I guess, for a person in our year group. ; u;)/
Hikari
Hikari
Keyboard Smasher

Singing Alias : ❄ヒカリ Posts : 1958
Join date : 2011-03-20
Age : 25
Location : space

Monthly Theme Participant (1/4) Monthly Theme Participant (2/4) Monthly Theme Participant (3/4)

https://www.youtube.com/c/hikariboo

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Post by Seitanoshuuki Sat Apr 28, 2012 4:51 am

This is really good writing for 13!!! Scratch that - this is pretty darn amazing writing for 13. Shuu is proud of you. <333
Seitanoshuuki
Seitanoshuuki
Keyboard Smasher

Singing Alias : Shuuki (秋記) Posts : 2173
Join date : 2011-03-26
Location : Canada

YTC 2015 Blind Duet Participant

https://www.youtube.com/user/SeitanoShuuki?feature=mhum

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Post by Talkingcamara2 Mon Jan 28, 2013 7:04 pm

This is amazing writing~ Wish I was that good o.o
Talkingcamara2
Talkingcamara2
Newbie

Singing Alias : Miki Posts : 12
Join date : 2011-04-18
Age : 26
Location : United States


https://www.youtube.com/user/Talkingcamara2

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