Alhania-Amity

The fourth morning in a row. I resolved to do it today. She must know by now.

When I think of Marie, the image of us as children in the park between our two houses always comes to my mind. Every day for at least ten years, we'd meet between our houses before school and head there together, and stay in the park for a few hours as we walked back together. Even at seventeen years, we'd sit on the child-sized swings and just talk. I'd hop on the tiny jungle gym once in a while, and she'd sit on top of the monkey bars. We'd talk and talk for hours, about how our days have been and about our parents and what they do at night when we're not together, and about school and the classes we never had together. Not that taking separate classes ever impeded our knowledge. While we sat on the swings, we'd talk about our classes and what we learned, until we both knew it better than the teachers. I spoke Spanish fluently and she spoke French, even though we were never in those classes once.

We'd talk about our city, Soria. As small as it was, we enjoyed it here. The city was divided in halves; one part for residents and the other for the industrial parts, with an urban sprawl in between. The residential section felt nude, as it was nothing but buildings far apart and what seemed like fields for backyards. In the three short months when the sun shone, the flowers and trees would shed their petals, like the rain that always poured through the rest of the year. Soria was known for its massive trees and their petals which lacked any colour at all; They did seem like rain when the wind blew. The hugest of these trees is what the residential half of Soria was built around. The base of this tree was the square of the Alhania-Amity Shopping District, the only place for shopping that wasn't in the industrial half of Soria. It was named after the peace treaty with Soria's neighbouring country, and the tree in the center was halfway carved out, where children could play inside and look out at the perch from the top. The district wasn't something to admire, particularily. You wouldn't often see any building taller than the height of two people, and everything was built of musty, mossy wood or rusted metal. People never paid it any mind, though. It was still lively every day, since people never liked to cross the sprawl in the center of the city. Everybody on the residential side loved the district, anyway. It always folloewd a pattern of traffic, as Marie and I had noticed from being there so often; Sundays were always busy, and Thursdays the least so. Today was Sunday. I regretted waiting so much.

I'd taken Marie to the Alhania-Amity Shopping District for the past three days. We sat on top of the tree for a while, basking in the sun and feeling the occasional petal graze our faces or get caught in our hair. We walked around for a little while, going to find a bite to eat or getting excited over a cute little trinket Marie could buy for her younger sister. Three days in a row, I planned on confessing to her at the back alley, where rumors controlled.

In the back of the district, close to the industrial side of Soria, was a small alleyway in the district where the pavement cracked and grass grew. Flowers lined one side the buildings overhead aligned just right so in the early afternoon, the sun would illuminate the entire place and petals would flutter in. Young couples often went to that alleyway to confess, to break up or to do other unspeakable acts of love, but it was still always clean and tidy in there, that one small clearing. As if someone walked inside and took perfect care of it, the flowers always looked healthy and the grass was neatly trimmed. The wood that lined the walls of the alleyway, that made up the buildings around, was always neat and free of dirt or moss. Rumors flew around the residential area about that alley all the time. How, if one confessed to another in that alley, they'd be together forever and live a happy life, or it wouldn't happen at all. I really hoped it was true.

"Let's go shopping, Marie."
"Ah... Again? Still haven't had enough?" Marie smiled.
"I... I just like it down there this time of year. It's so warm, and... The breeze feels nice from the top of the tree, you know?"
Marie smiled. "I'll ask mom for a bit more money."

She held onto the sleeve of my shirt as we strolled down the cobblestone road that led right into the tree in the square of the Alhania-Amity Shopping District. Two tidy, well-shaven men watched us walking from inside their open-walled stall on the side of the road. She clung tighter. We stopped a small curry restaurant for a meal before we climbed the spiral stairs to the tree's perch, where we sat, legs dangling through the rails.

"It's a bit too hot today, even. The breeze is so nice, though..." Marie stretched out one arm, leaning on my shoulder.
I nervously held onto the bottom of her shirt. "I'm... I'm gonna get some ice cream. You want any?"
"Ah! Sure. Chocolate, please!" She sat up straight. I pulled my legs out from through the rails and stood, making my way to the other side of the perch where there was a small stall set up. I looked off the side of the perch. A couple was walking out of the alley, clinging tight to each other.
I swallowed nervously. It's available, I thought.

Why was it so hard to do this? It's just three words, I reassured myself. Three words.

"They... They were out of ice cream. You wanna go for a walk?"
"Ah... Darn. Can we stay here for a little while longer? I really like it here." Marie yawned.
"Uhm... Sure." I sat down again, clinging to her hand.

Marie was my only friend. I'd spend the last several years of my life making her happy, and my other friendships eventually faded. I didn't mind, though. Marie was really everything I lived for. She had lots of friends, though.
A breeze blew past, and petals got caught in our hair. Marie chuckled, and made a game out of picking the petals out of each other's hair. Of course, it was easier for her to win. My hair was much shorter.

"The wind's been going for ten minutes, now. Kinda cold... Can we head down, now?" Marie had rested her head on my shoulder again.
"Ah... Sure. Where would you like to go?"
"I dunno. Anywhere, I guess."
Nervously, I stood, holding her sleeve. We made our way back to the street, and I steered us towards the alley. We passed a couple of stores that Marie wanted to visit, and she bought a keychain for herself and a couple of snacks for later.

Eventually, I saw the alleyway's entrance. The sun was perfectly aligned, I knew. The wind had just picked up more and more, and the petals never stopped coming down. Our footsteps were completely muffled by them.

"Hey... Can I just check something for one moment...?" I stammered. We stood right at the entrance of the alley, and nobody was in sight.
"Sure. No problem." Marie let go of my sleeve. My heart skipped a beat. I still clung to hers, and after a moment of hesitation, we both walked inside.

I didn't look back at her face. I could barely walk. Marie seemed to walk a bit slower than me, almost hesitant.

At the back of the alley was the clearing I heard so much about, and remembered so clearly from the one time I was inside. Every corner was well-lit, and the grass was neat. On the side, there were many more flowers than I remembered, each blooming beautifully. The place smelled fresh, as if it were expecting somebody.

A few petals fluttered down and landed on my arm. One grazed Marie's face. She didn't flinch.

"Uhm... Marie..."
She said nothing.
I trembled, clinging to her sleeve as tightly as I could. I wanted to hold her hand, but my fingers wouldn't move.

"...Yes?"
My mind raced. My vision blurred. I couldn't think at all.
Don't think, I told myself. Just say it.
Just say it.

"Would you..."

I choked on my words.

"Would you want to go get ice cream?"

Marie stood still.
I cursed myself. I didn't think. I didn't open my eyes.
"I... I'm sorry..."
I heard her footsteps. My grip on her sleeve disappeared.

"Wait... WAIT!" I screamed.
Her footsteps stopped.
"You... Please... Don't go. You're the only thing I have..."
Silence. I felt a petal land on my face.
"You're... You're my oldest friend. I love the time we have before school and after every day, and I love being with you. I... I love going shopping, and talking with your sister and you, and playing games, and just... Just talking. I love your voice... And your hair, and your smell, and... I love how your hand feels on mine..."
I heard a weak choke.
"I love you. I love you, Marie."

I opened my eyes. The wind blew through the alley, and petals mixed with tears. Nobody stood in front of me. All I heard was the rustling of the branches.

I picked myself up off the ground and stumbled back through the alley, desperate to cling to some sleeve, some hand. Something.

I walked, alone, fighting petals away from my face until I reached our playground, and sat on my swing.