My All For You + Kami Hikooki (Paper Airplane)

Kami Hikooki

ある時代　ある場所
aru jidai aru basho
混ざらない　この世界で
mazaranai kono sekai de
二人のツタナイ　世界つなぐ
futari no tsutanai sekai tsunagu
ひとつの　紙飛行機
hitotsu no kami hikooki

There was a pair that kept on going, seeing each other and communicating by paper planes… By writing their letters and feelings down onto the piece of paper that they would pass on to each other and let it fly over the fence that separates them both. The girl was a warden in the hospital who was from a rich family; while the boy was a prisoner in the jail – where the girl’s father works as a police, or a guard.

毎日　病院を抜けだし
mainichi byouin wo nukedashi
パパの仕事場で
papa no shigotoba de
君に会うのが　私の全てで
kimini aunoga watashi no subete de
君の手紙を読むと　心が
kimi no tagami wa yomuto kokoro ga
暖かくなる
atatakaku naru
頬を染めた　これが恋なのか
hoho wo someta korega koi nanoka
だけど　パパは言う　怖い顔
dakedo papa wa iu kowai kao
あの子には　会っちゃダメ？
anoko niwa accha dame?
私には　分からなかった
watasi niwa wakara nakatta

Everyday whenever the girl’s father goes to work and not watching; she would escape from the depressing hospital – despite her lethal illness that can bring her death if she does not take enough rest. She would see her lover, despite the fence; they would pass on their letters… They would talk until it was close to dark, the girl would return to her ward in the hospital just to be safe; since her father ends his work that time… One day, while reading the letter her lover, the prisoner; gave her, her father took the letter away from her and said, “Do you not afraid of falling in love with such a lowly man? I am afraid…” the girl did not understand why… Despite how much she knew that her lover was a prisoner. She still believed that there was a good in him.

あなたが　いるなら　それだけで
anata ga irunara soredake de
生きている　意味がある
ikite iru imi ga aru
光の射さない　この部屋で
hikari no sasanai kono heya de
未来は　輝いていたよ
mirai wa kagayaiteta yo

The girl can never be sure why her father had treated her that way if he loved her. All she wanted was to be with the person she loves despite his rank in the world… “All I want is to be with you, is that so wrong?” she sang her heart; keeping his letters close to her heart to be completely close to him – yet so far away. She knew if she wanted to be with him – it would be wrong for her father, yet that was all she could think was right for her own future… At least, she hoped to be with him through anything.
日に日にふえる　管の数と
hinihini fueru kuda no kazu to
遠くなる耳
touku naru mimi
歩くのも　かなりきつくなったかな
aruku nomo kanari kitsuku natta kana
もう　ここから生きて出れないなら
mou kokokara ikite derenai nara
最後に　あなたに
saigo ni anata ni
心配だけは　かけたく無いから
shinpai dake wa kaketaku nai kara
さよならの思いのせて
sayonara no omoi nosete
交わされる紙飛行機
kawasareru kami hikooki
涙はもう見せれない
namida wa mou miserenai

Knowing that her death was coming soon, the girl decided to see the person she loves the most – despite the seriousness of her own disease. She could not care less about it as all she cared was to be with the person she loves – no matter how hard it was to move, she ran for the exit of the hospital that she resided in just to see the one she loves; to exchange letters with him again and to say goodbye for the last time before her own death consumes her and her love for him… She hid her sadness and smiled to turn away from him.

「待つよ、いつまでも待ってるよ！
Len[matsuyo itsumademo matteru yo!
君が来る　その日まで
kimi ga kuru sonohi made
手紙を大事に　なくさずにいたら
tegami wo daiji ni nakusazu ni itara
また　会えますよね・・・」
mata aemasu yone...]

After reading her goodbye letter, the boy called out to wait for a while, “Am I not your partner? Are you not to come back? I have kept your letters ever so carefully… So I shall wait until you are to come back, okay?” this made the girl cry, not showing her sad little face to him – the guy she loves. His words left her speechless, she was not able to reply to such enormous love from him… Though she left him all alone to the hospital – trying to not show the sadness that had been kept locked in her heart for too long since she knew of her own sickness…

Maybe death was just coming after her for what she had done, betraying her father and going for the love… But she could not regret him, as he was the one who could make her smile despite her illness. The girl started to die, slowly, gradually; and this made her father desperate and her father decided to punish the little boy that fell in love with his daughter – never knowing what she had gone through. The boy was punished by having his letters torn in his eyes. This sent the boy to cry and punch the father aggressively; and this again sent the boy to the worst punishment – death.
あれから　幾月
arekara ikutsuki
もう体は動かない
mou karada wa ugokanai
お迎えは　もうすぐ来るのかな
omukae wa mousugu kurunokana
あの時の別れ際に
anotoki no wakaregiwa ni
強がらなければ良かった
tsuyogaranakereba yokatta
もう遅すぎた
mou ososugita
今もどこかで笑うあなたに・・・
ima mo dokoka de warau anata ni…
会いたい会いたい　会いたい
aitai aitai aitai

Dying, slowly and slowly; her body could never move again. The only thing that can bring her strength back was him, even to just see him, though separated by the fence – it would make her glad enough to continue. She begged in her heart if she could see him; yet again, she was emotionally and physically in pain – dying through the grief and pain that she went through, yet the love she has for him never ended…

光のあたらない花は　ただ
hikari no ataranai hana wa tada
枯れてくのを待つ運命
karetekuno wo matsu sadame
あなたのくれた手紙だけが
anata no kureta tegami dake ga
私に光をくれたんです
watshi ni hikari wo kuretandesu
もう霞んで手紙も読めないよ
mou kasunde tegami mo yomenai yo
部屋に響く無機質な音
heya ni hibiku mukishitsu na oto
お願い　もしこれが最後なら
onegai moshi korega saigo nara
いかせて　あなたのもとへ・・・
ikasete anata no moto e…

Yet nothing can stop her from dreaming to be with him. She wanted to see him just for one last time before she truly leaves, to catch one more letter from him that could light and warm her heart… But through all she could manage, she lost her breath and managed to catch a last glimpse of him leaving her in a field of imagination… They had to lose to what destiny have chosen for them – to never be together…


あなたがいたから　ずっと私達は
anata ga ita kara zutto watashi tachi wa
（君がいいたから　ずっと僕達は）
Len[kimi ga ita kara zutto boku tachi wa]
笑顔を忘れずにいられました
egao wo wasurezu ni irare mashita
深い闇が二人を切り裂いて
fukai yami ga futari wo kiri saite
深い闇が　また巡り合わせて
fukai yami ga mata meguri awasete
また明日・・・
mata ashita…
あの場所で・・・
ano basho de…

They have met each other in the other world, singing together, “Since that day we have always been each other’s, never-endingly loving each other; loving each other’s smile though it was a view blocked by the fence that separated us, though the love that we shared together consumed us together like darkness, but the darkness took away our happiness with no mercy for neither of us… Until tomorrow we will see each other again, at the same place where we first met; just let the fence disappear from between us; hold each others’ hand…” they held each others’ hand, laughing together as a tragic loving pair… Of different ranks.

---

My All For You...

1.0 “I just . . Don’t want to fall in love . .”

1.1 Haze’s POV

“Like usual , no one is allowed to go out of the examination hall during the exam time . So if you want to go to the toilet , please go now ! !”

I ran towards the door with Belle. And I stopped right on time. Guys just went inside the examination hall. They just came from the assembly. I am so sorry, we girls at the front pleaded the teacher to let us go earlier.

… A few seconds after seeing the faces of guys coming, I can’t stand it anymore. I have got to see Maurice. And there. Right in front of me. Walking past me. I felt myself flush in red. I looked down.

“Oi ! ! Haze , the guys are giving us a way ! !”, Belle shouted at me. And I just went. When I turned to the guys who are coming forward, somebody pushed Nelson right to me. My mind blanked out. He was supporting himself from falling to me. I was leaning against the door, when he was looking at me, almost clueless.

I held out a piercing scream. I cannot stand that. If the teacher in the examination hall saw the freaking scene. I am dead. Dead. I ran from under Nelson’s right arm. Hid my face with my hands. Straightaway to the toilet.

“Haze . . What was that all about just now ?”, Belle asked. I didn’t want to answer that question. No. Not that question. But I had to. “Umm . . Somebody pushed Nelson to me . I was about to run , but I couldn’t budge . Why are you asking ?”

“Nothing really . You seemed a bit embarassed just now . . I thought it was kinda . . Sweet . You and Nelson look cute together .”

“NAAH ! ! ! No way ! ! You gotta be kidding me ! !”

“No . I am not kidding ! ! He is cute , like , the cutest of all the guys . You are the cutest too ! ! So what’s the point of loving somebody who is not your level ? ! !”

“I . . I’m sorry . I know Nelson’s cute . But I can’t love him . He is just not my type . .”

“Then who is your type ? Don’t tell me it’s the chubby guy that Catherine told you about ! !”

“N-no . . He . . I am just . . Not wanting to be in love . .”

“Okay , fine . Let’s go ?”, Belle asked. We will have to rush to the examination hall. “Okay . Sure then .”, I replied.

1.2 Sherry’s POV

Haze’s not here. I guess, she must’ve went with Belle to the toilet.

I’ve watched Maurice. He doesn’t seem to care that Haze’s not here. I wonder what’s up between them. W-wait.. I guess Maurice must be having a hard time with his current girlfriend. Sigh..

“Oi , Sherry , study ! ! We don’t have much time ! !”, Catherine beamed. “Oh . Okay then .”, I replied. Still worrying about what happened between Maurice and Haze.

I wonder what’s up with Haze these days. She seems a bit.. Not so happy like she used to be. Or I think that’s just me, less observant.

“Sherry , are you thinking about . . Haze too ?”, I heard Catherine asked. That was unbelievable. I thought she never knew.

“Yeah . . I am worried . Maurice doesn’t seem to care that she’s not around , I hope he still likes her . .”, Catherine whispered to Sherry.

“So do I . . She suffered quite a lot . . Since she knew that Maurice had a girlfriend .”

“. . . I know , I wonder how that girlfriend of his is like . Haze seems to really love him deeply .”

“Mmh . Yeah , she does . You said you wanna study , so . . . Now ?”

“Oh yeah . Sorry , I guess I was like you in a moment ago . Worrying about Haze’s feelings . .”

We studied. Actually we wanted to. But I can’t help myself from not worrying about Haze’s feelings. She is.. whom I can call ‘fragile’. Very. She’s innocent too. It’s just hard to understand her. But to her, I understand her more than anyone else. Catherine also understood her though.

Haze and Belle came in. Haze seemed a bit depressed, founding that Maurice did not look at her. I never fell in love, but I understand her. I can feel the love in her. She just seemed depressed these days. I think it’s much better if she cried at any time just to release the depression of hers. I feel sorry..

1.3 Belle’s POV

Haze seems a bit different these days. I wonder if it had something to do with that chubby Maurice. She always look at him. I wonder what’s so special about him. I mean, he’s ugly.. And fat. No offense.

“I’m gonna sit beside Takeru . .”, she whispered to me. I told her I was gonna sit beside the guy in front of Takeru. But I don’t mind sitting anywhere. As long as I won’t get to sit anywhere surrounded by disgusting guys.

“Sure , I am gonna sit in front of you then . .”, I replied.

Haze took her place behind me. Looked kinda depressed. Like something bad really happened. I don’t know. She said nothing to me. Nothing useful for me to know if anything happened. Oh well. She’s just like that. Complicated-minded. Not-so-typical.

Chemistry exam now.

.. Oh, I hate it so much!

2.0 “You . . And I . . Nothing . We’re close friends ! !”

2.1 Haze’s POV

Chemistry.. Wonder how’s Maurice going along with his exam. It was quite easy to me though.

“Please tell me you love me , Maurice . . Because I love you so much ! !”

“I . . I am sorry . . I am with someone else . . I . . Can’t say more than that . . I am sorry . . I can’t be with you . .”

“No , Maurice , I don’t care . . . Sob . . Sob . . I’ll give you everything you want ! !”

“I . . Can’t . . I told you I am with someone else . .”

“N-no . . I don’t want to lose you . . Maurice ! !”

“. . . I am sorry . . Haze . . I can’t . .”

And so he went. I cried under the rain. That was what happened actually. I didn’t tell anyone. I can’t do anything about it. I know I love him, but I realized that I can’t be with him if he doesn’t love me back. There’s no use if there’s only one love. And that love will not be replied by the other side. I feel like crying now. But the teacher will think I am weird. To cry in the middle of exam, gah. Weirdo. I think I am a weirdo though. Too complex. But it’s the way I am. I can’t help myself.

Maurice used to take me for who I am. When we were friends. But now, everything changed. He seems to be a bit down. He doesn’t really care anymore. And I can’t do a thing. I am pathetic.

2.2 Sherry’s POV

Around 10 minutes then we will be allowed to get out of this place. Haze finished her paper. Easy. To her. She was always relaxed in this whole examination week, while all of us panicked. Weiiird.

A few seconds, somebody cracked. Not laughter, but sobbings. It sounded like.. Oh no. Haze. Her fragility broke down so easily. Great, great, great. Why can’t she control herself? But I know she’s very fragile. A simple sentence can hurt her feelings easily. Her empathies are always controlling her. She always feels what others felt too. Which is quite thoughtful but this is.. Too much.

“Haze . . Why are you crying ?”, a teacher’s voice came out.

Oh S@#!. A teacher is asking, how can she answer that question?

“I . . I don’t know . Something went inside my eyes . It hurts a lot , that’s why I cried .”

“Oh . Lucky. I thought you were crying because of something more serious than that .”

The female teacher left Haze’s desk. Haze then hid her face. I noticed eyes on her. Nelson’s, Ace’s and Maurice’s. His eyes were filled with guilt.

..What? Does he have anything to do with Haze’s crack? Sigh.. Most probably.

And then, I guess I can ask Haze the rest after school…

2.3 Maurice’s POV

S@#!. She cried. This is all my fault.

I sighed. I don’t want anyone to know that I love her. Even though I am with someone else. Being her close friend is fine to me. But I want her to know my feelings. I just.. Kept it a secret. Stupid of me. I made her cry in the middle of the exam.

Haze’s hiding her face. She’s.. Fragile. Maybe confused now. She’s depressed. I guess.

She told me, one year ago…

“What did you get for valentine this year ?”

“Umm . . Nothing . Why ?”

“Nothing . Just asking .”

“You know . . I actually felt like . . You and I . . Umh . Nothing . We’re so close as friends !”

“Yeah . . I know .”

“By the way , have you ever thought that your best friend will fall in love with you . . What will you do to her ?”

“I dunno . . I guess let it be . . Unless if that girl is so sweet . . Why are you asking ?”

“Nothing . Just wondering .”

“Oh , I know , you fell in love with Nelson ! ! That guy’s your best friend , isn’t he ? Huh ? Huh?”

“AIE ! ! ! No ! ! I did NOT fell in love with HIM ! No way ! !”

She blushed. She looked cute. Even though she knew I was just teasing.. I know I myself fell for her that time. But I teased her too much, I thought she wouldn’t love me. Sigh.. This is all truly my fault. She told me she loved me already. Why did I rejected her ? Now I made her cry. Bad of me. Why did I? Why?!!

I banged the desk. Then the teachers were looking at me as if I was a weirdo. I didn’t mean to get attention, but S@#!. I guess I made a mistake. I whispered “Sorry . .” to the teacher that was the most near to me.. I was looking at Haze that time, But I guess she didn’t want to look at me. I guess I am worthless to her now. But if I really am, why did she cry? Stupid me. I had been thinking too much. About her.

2.4 Catherine’s POV

Haze cried. Maurice’s fault. I am so blaming him for everything.

Maurice, I used to have a crush on that chubby(but hot) guy. But since I noticed that Haze liked him, I dared not to. I don’t want to ruin their friendship. Haze is totally in love with him. She never told me that, I guess she’s going to keep it a secret for a long time. Sigh.. That girl is totally complicated. But she totally rocks, her voice is damn good. She’s cute, photogenic, fair, clever and she’s not a B@!$. She’s not too girlish at the same time, isn’t that cool? She plays football. How can’t Maurice fall for her? She’s perfect!

But I guess that Maurice loves bitches. I am now totally on Haze’s side. She fell in love with some guys, like, deeply. But those guys never noticed that she’s just perfect. Not a B@!$. I wonder why guys like bitches? Including that freaking oh-I’m-so-cool Maurice.

I still remember, when Haze told me…

“I am totally not into that guy , but Maurice , he’s damn unique . No other guys can be compared to him . Ace , ugh , I’m sorry but he’s a total geek with his thick-black-framed glasses , but Maurice , he’s chubby , and he has a HOT HOT way of walking . He’s totally attractive . .”

“Excuse me , down-to-earth Haze , are you in love ?”

“Naah . Not exactly , but he’s just . . Attractive .”

“Oh really ? You wanna know more about him ? My mother knows his mother very well though . .”

“That’s so cool ! ! Sure , tell me everything about him you can . .”

“Sure , his full name is Maurice Greenland , his birthday is around February . . And also , one last thing , he . . is dang conceited .”

“Really ? Hahahaha .”

Haze was total cool. She is really aware of like, almost everything. She was totally interested in Maurice. But too bad, he has a bitchy girlfriend. Brr.. Thinking about it makes me go.. Ew. I really feel sorry for Haze. I felt like shouting to that I’m-so-cool-Maurice. Ugh!!

3.0 “But . . You don’t understand . I love her , but it’s just that . .”

3.1 Haze’s POV

I can’t believe I just did. No. I did not cry.

But everybody saw me. I felt eyes of Maurice’s were looking at me. But I tried to ignore. I can’t help myself from that.

“Okay , so those who have finished their exams , plese raise up your hand , and we’ll collect your exam papers .”

Oh teacher, thank you. I have finished.

I ran downstairs to the ground floor toilet. I cried again. I can’t help it anymore. My voice was crackled. I can speak properly. Luckily Catherine and Sherry was there with me..

“Guys , I know you guys might’ve noticed it now . .”

“I . . About you like Maurice . . ? We noticed that a long time ago , girl .”, Catherine replied.

“I . . See . I never knew it was easy for people to realise that . So stupid of me . Falling in love with a guy like him . . STUPID ! ! !”

I sat down. On the marble tiles of the toilet’s. I was so stupid. Stupid. Idiot. B@!$. Yes. A B@!$. That easily falls in love. Especially a guy like Maurice.

“Catherine , Sherry , what can I say ? Am I a B@!$ ? B-I-T-C-H ?”

“Awh , come on . Stop accusing yourself . You are much more than that . You are not. N-O-T a B@!$ . Okay ?”, Sherry replied to me.

I then shut up. Sherry had a point. But how come I always think that I am even worse than the girl that Maurice fell for? Ugh. Weird of me. Complex-minded. Too complex. Still kinda stupid but oh well. Typical of me I guess. I am just who I am.

3.2 Catherine’s POV

Oh. So Haze thinks that SHE is the B@!$ I had in my mind. She is so not one.

Now. Haze went to the hostel with Sherry. I gotta see Maurice and give him a few words about Haze’s deep feelings for him.

There. That guy over there. Maurice. Oh-I’m-so-cool-Maurice.

“Oi , Maurice ! What was that all about ? Why did Haze cry ?”, I said in an angry tone. I was totally angry. And no kidding about that.

“Catherine . . Not now . .”, He replied in an oh-so-dramatic tone. Like I’d fall for that.

“Why not now ? Why ? You have a reason ? ! Shut up , man ! You know that Haze fell for you , she loved you like , deeply . Deeper than the freaking seas . She told you . And you told her what ? I bet you told her that you ‘fell in love with a B@!$ !’ What kind of man are you , huh Maurice ?”

“But . . You don’t understand . I love her , but it’s just that . .”

“Who did you mean ? The B@!$ that stole you heart by just go flirt at you and pretend being innocent ? What kind of a B@!$ is that ? And what kind of guy would fall for that kind of B@!$ ? You know Haze was sweeter , she’s totally innocent , not a faker . Not even a B@!$ . She’s perfect . .”

He sighed, “I love Haze . Happy now ? I actually fell for her since she first came here . And that , I AM a player . I did not want to fall for Haze but I can’t help it , she was too nice . I played with my feelings , I only wanted to love Ashley , the Ashley that was your ex-best friend . And now you are calling Ashley a ‘bitch’ ? What kind of friend are you ?”

“I’m sorry , but Ashley , I am totally calling her a B@!$ . I’m on Haze’s side . She’s sweeter . Ashley totally changed . She is not the old her that used to be so nice to everyone . Now she’s a true B@!$ . Why are you still with her ?”

“Because . . I can’t tell . .”

“Pfft . Whatever you say , Maurice .”, and I ran. I was happy enough that he actually loves Haze. But that Ashley? Puh-lizz. She’s so not sweet now. She’s a B@!$. Ashley’s nowhere to Haze. Very far from Haze.

“Catherine , please . I don’t want Haze to hate me even more , so please don’t tell her that I love her . I will tell her that one day by my own way . .”

I stopped. Wow. He’s romantic-much. No wonder Ashley and Haze fell for him deeply. “Okay . I’ll leave the romantic part to you.”

3.3 Maurice’s POV

Catherine. One true step. Then comes the path to telling Haze about my feelings. I really have to dump Ashley soon.

The later bus came. I just finished my football practice. I guess Haze must’ve went on the earlier bus. Oh well.

I missed her. I am missing her. I can’t wait till I can see her after this.

…. Ah. Ace. He came to my room. That’s so ‘nice’ of him. To visit me who just had a peaceful sleep and woke up just because of him. He stayed for like. SIX hours. From 5 pm, and plus SIX hours of treating him, equals to 11 pm. That was nice of him to visit me till 11 at night… I did NOT get to see Haze. Too bad. It was all obviously Ace’s fault. That annoying guy. Who cares about him talking about Belle?

Erm. So I went to the cyber cafe… Haze wasn’t there. But Sherry was.

“Sherry . . Where’s Haze ?”, I asked.

“In her room . Where else ?”, she replied with an angry look. Creeeeepy.

“Okay . . Okay . Is she angry at me ?”

” . . .”, she stopped. And exited all the windows. I guess she gotta go..

“But . . Wait . Sherry . . Tell me . .”

And she didn’t reply. Not a thing. Ahh. Too much of a fuss for a day.

3.4 Sherry’s POV

That guy. Again. He already made her angry. And now asking for forgiveness. Stupid.

I went straightaway when he asked me about Haze. I couldn’t bear with it. I totally understand Haze. She wouldn’t want me to tell Maurice about what she is feeling right now. I guess Catherine must have told him. Ah. Maurice is just one of the soon to be victims of mine.

I ran upstairs to see how Haze’s doing.

Okay. She’s okay. She’s steady. She is now listening to her Walkman phone. Kewl. Ya know, her phone has a big memory. And a professional camera. I envy her. I wonder what makes Maurice not to love her. I mean, she had been treating him nicely and also she knows how to sing, write and really is clever.

“Hey , Haze . I met that B@!$-lover Maurice downstairs .”

4.0 “I . . Love him . . Like . . Now and forever . .”

4.1 Haze’s POV

Sherry’s here. She came from the cyber cafe. And. Maurice was there. Luckily I didn’t go there. Chemistry was the last exam we all are gonna do together.. So there’s.. Nothing left for me to see Maurice after this.

“Oh . . I see . . So he was downstairs . . Did he ask you anything . .?”

“Of course he did . . He asked me how you were . Idiot .”

“Don’t say that . I . . Love him . . Like . . Now and forever . .”

“You still love him ? “

“Yeah . . I said , no matter what . Even if I call myself a B@!$ , I don’t care . .”

Sherry stopped. She lost her words. I am winning. I’ve kept my feelings for years now.

So there couldn’t be anything wrong with falling for him, deeper and deeper even if I don’t get to be with him.

It’s 12 in the midnight. And I am still not sleepy. …. ARGH! My brain felt a bit hurt, like a sudden stroke. S@#!. Is this what they call brain cancer?

……

I’m unconcious?

4.2 Catherine’s POV

“Sherry ! ! You gotta be kidding me ! ! Haze just fainted ? !”

“No ! ! I am so not ! !”

“You must tell that to Maurice , it doesn’t matter , just tell him !”

“Wha ? ! !”

The line ended. Sherry’s credit must have been quite low. S@#!, S@#!, S@#!. Should I tell Maurice? No.

… I guess no. Maybe Haze doesn’t like him anymore and she doesn’t wanna see him anymore. Let’s just not.

I’ll call Belle.. No. Don’t. Better not to. She’ll tell everyone. She’s too loud. Ugh. I am so confused. I think better not to tell everyone. Or anyone. Let it just be me, Sherry and Haze who knows that Haze fainted. Ah. There’s a book about… Brain strokes and brain cancer? Why is it here? Umm.. I’ll just have a look.

I took that book from the floor. And looked at the contents. SYMPTOMS.

“Brain Cancer Symptoms”

“One, victim will feel a sudden stroke in her/his head, and if the victim is weak in physical features, he/she will faint for a few hours. If that victim is totally weak, he/she can be unconcious for days around 4-5 days.

Two, victim will turn paler each day.

Three, victim will start feeling more of the sudden strokes, and hurts the victim even more.

Victims have to be careful. If these symptoms happened, the victim will have around 4 to 5 years to live.”

Faint huh? …… HAZE. S@#!. Did this happened to Haze? Oh no!!

4.3 Sherry’s POV

I don’t know what to do. Haze just fainted. Don’t panic too much.

My credit finished. I have to inform Maurice. But how?! I can’t go down.

Haze turned very pale… Great. Great. Great.

I can’t believe it. I myself is crying. Am I so scared to lose Haze? I mean, she’s a friend. I don’t want her to die now.

She told me she was having all these sudden strokes, but it wasn’t ’til she can faint. Please tell me she’s gonna be alive for a few years.. ‘Til she can taste happiness with Maurice..

Haze… Don’t die now… Please, I am begging you…. Don’t die now… I don’t want you to die… I want you to taste at least a moment of happiness with Maurice… Please DON’T die…

2 days later . . .

4.4 Catherine’s POV

Haze, she’s still unconcious. Sherry didn’t inform me a thing. Nor Haze. Not even Maurice.

I guess Haze must be having a brain cancer.. But she’s still alive. I’m sure.

….

The phone vibrated. WTF? Who would call me at this kind of time?!!

“Hey , Catherine , I have been trying to contact Haze , how come she never picks up her phone or reply my messages ?”

“I . . Don’t know . . I’m sorry . . I don’t know a thing . .”

“But . . You sound like you actually do . . Is it that you are keeping it from me ?”

“No . I know nothing .”

“Oh . Okay then . Thanks .”

“You . . Are welcome . .”

I ended the call. I don’t want to tell him a thing. Not even the fact that she fainted out of brain cancer.

I can’t tell him. Not without Haze’s own permission.

4.5 Haze’s POV

I am… Home. Why?

“Mother , why am I home ? Shouldn’t I be at school ?”

“Sherry sent you home . She said you fainted out of brain cancer . . Well . . You are having brain cancer dear . . I am afraid I have to send you to the hospital . Daddy said that you are only going to live for 5 more years .”

I let out a gasp, I am having brain cancer. No. “Brain cancer ? ! ! Mum , why ? Why now ?”

“I don’t know , dear . I don’t want to lose you . .”

I sobbed. I still haven’t taste any happiness. Not yet. I still haven’t taste Maurice’s love.. And kiss.. I don’t want to lose him. Not just him, but my life. I want to die with him.. I don’t want to die 5 years later. Maurice wouldn’t be there for me.. No.. He treats me like a best friend. I don’t want to lose him. I love him so much. I’ll love him forever.

…

There’s a paper. Should I write?

5.0 “I’ve loved you . .”

5 Years later . . .

5.1 Maurice’s POV

Haze… It’s 5 years already. I wonder how she’s getting along with her life. I am now studying at Oxford University. And I am missing her.

I broke up with Ashley. But she’s still annoying me. A B@!$. Catherine was right. Ashley was a true B@!$. Even until now.

I go to Oxford, here she is. With me. Eating lunch with me. Forcing me to follow her back home. She has a lot of secret admirers. But why me? There’s tons of other hunks in her class. Why won’t she just choose one of them?

… Bzzz, okay. The phone vibrated.

It showed a very familiar number. Who could it be?

“Hello ? Maurice Greenland . .”

“Yes , who am I speaking with ?”

“This is Sherry here . . Can you please come to the hospital ? It’s near Oxford though .”

“Why ?”

“You’ll see later .”

5.2 Sherry’s POV

I ended the call. Haze is gone already. Her face is truly pale now. She is blue. She still haven’t taste Maurice’s kiss. And yet, she died. She didn’t say a thing to her family about him. She only told me and Catherine. No one understood her since before. Now Maurice.. He’s got to see her before she’s gone from everyone’s sight.

Her face was melancholy. Full of sadness.. I wish I could have saved her earlier.. But I can’t.. There’s a letter. On the bedshelf. For Maurice. Obviously. Haze wrote it, 5 years ago. The last day she saw Maurice in her life.

Now a tear escaped from my eye. What…? I am crying? Why am I? Why should I?

…Okay. I guess I really don’t want to lose Haze myself. She made me understand what true love is. Even though she fell in love at a young age. I can’t help it. She truly made me understand. We both have telepathy bond, and now she died. It’s like half of me died. Half of me. Not a quarter of me.

“Catherine . . I just can’t take it . .”

“Sherry . . So do I . . Haze is gone . . We have to get along with it . . I know we both are her best friends . .”

“Catherine . . We both don’t want to lose her . .”

5.3 Catherine’s POV

Sherry.. I know. We both don’t want to lose her. She was a best friend. She had a beloved part in our hearts, she taught us how to sing. She was… A mother.. She was mature. She never forgets us even though she loved Maurice more than she loved us. She loved us, and it sounded more of a family way. She loved Maurice in her own passionate way. Maurice is coming.. I can hear his footsteps from here.

TAP! TAP!

He came. Maurice is here. And he is looking at Haze in a horror. A very.. Surprised face. He was speechless I say. It had been years since he last saw Haze, and now he’s here. Seeing her on her deathbed. She’s gone. I am sorry, Maurice..

“Maurice . .”

“What happened ?”

“Remember that day when she cried ?”

“Yes , I remember . . What happened ?”

“She . . Fainted . That was one of the symptoms that she had brain cancer . And now . . She’s gone . Because of brain cancer . It was critical . I am sorry , Maurice . We didn’t tell you . She didn’t want you to know . She had kept everything to herself . Here’s a letter from her . .”

5.4 Haze’s POV (I know, she’s dead.)

I can hear Maurice’s voice. From far. I know I am dead already. But I felt a piece of life when he came. I’ve missed his voice.

Catherine gave him the letter. I never expected that he will come. But I guess.. He must’ve heard. Sherry must’ve told him about it. No. Catherine told him. I heard..

I am sorry, Maurice. I did not tell you anything about this. I didn’t want you to know that I am dying. I don’t want you to leave your happiness with your girlfriend, that’s why I didn’t tell you anything. I am so sorry…

A tear escaped from my eye as his lips touched my cold lips. I am gone from this world. But his presence made me feel alive. He kissed me. At last, I am feeling alive. Even though I can’t move, speak or live anymore, he kissed me. Why? Had he loved me all this time? I’ve missed him. Now my tear escaped. I want to see him. But I can’t. I can only taste his love. Finally. I am feeling it now. Maurice, Maurice, I have been missing you. Please tell me you love me. Not that girl… Not that girl whom my friends had called her a B@!$. I am sorry I wasn’t able to accompany you for the remaining years..

I am so sorry…

5.5 Maurice’s POV

I kissed her. For a long time. Hers was cold, but in mine’s touch it was warm enough. Her love for me was still glowing even though she died. I am sorry, Haze, I’ve never told you about that I have loved you since before. I am sorry.. Why wasn’t I allowed to know you had a brain cancer?

I had loved you all these time. I wasn’t even happy with my girlfriend, she was a pain. I’d rather be with you as a friend than to lose you. I didn’t even had the chance to be with you after that day you cried. Instead, I suffered with my girlfriend, and now you gave me a critical pain. You died. Before I could say I love you.

I can feel the tear of yours, your lips were cold. But your love is still in this world. I want it, let me keep it forever. I won’t marry anyone else. I will stay single in life, just because of you. You heard me, Haze? I had loved you, since I first saw you. It was love from first sight. I’ve missed you. I am crying now. I am seeing you, but you’re now not alive. You are now gone from this world. I can never see the old Haze, the Haze that I knew was alive and shy. I can taste your cold lips now. Haze, I really have missed you all these time. I love you, and I know you love me too. I’m sorry, I wasn’t with you, for your whole life. My heart was trying to be with yours, but it never caught yours, until now. But you.. Are not alive anymore. Why?

Epilogue

“Dear Maurice,

As a starting, you know I have loved you so much. I am so sorry I did not tell you that I am having a brain cancer. I decided to write this to you because, I just felt like it. As a last message from me to you.

Love is beautiful to me, watching you from afar is enough. I could not afford more than that. Besides, Ashley deserved you more than I do. I mean, she’s prettier of course. If not, why would not you fall for her? She must have been a perfect girl for you. But other than that, I still want you to be with me, nowhere far from me. Why does love have to be so confusing, Maurice?

I am missing you now, and I promise, I’ll love you forever. Even though you might will never cherish it, please understand how I feel. I swear, I will never ever lose hope on loving you. You will always going to be the one in my heart. I will never stop loving you. You will always be inside my heart. I do not care if I will not be in your heart, but I am just telling, YOU will always be inside my heart.

If I am still alive by now, I will give you everything, my heart, my body and my soul. I will let you have my heart, you can also break it if you want to. I will give you my body, for you to play with it. And I will give you my soul, for you to lie on. But I am not there with you. The only things that were left of me on the earth were memories of me and my love for you. It’s my all for you. Forever.

For now, I had been wishing that I could be with you forever. But I cannot. It was hard. Bearing with the sudden strokes in my head, it was all hurting so much. I do not want you to suffer, that was why I had left you with your sweetheart.

I can never be yours. But I am still loving you. No matter what happens, no matter if one of us died, I will still love you. I am who I am. And that myself is the Haze that loves Maurice forever. He is her everything. She is sorry, that she cannot be with him as a best friend. She will always treasure everything that he gave her. As long as there is a bond that keeps them both together, no matter as what, she will always be happy to be with him, even though she had to suffer with tears every night.

I love you, Maurice.

Sincerely,

Haze.”

There were marks of dried tears on the paper. The girl that wrote this letter must have been crying when she was writing it. The man that is now reading it is crying. Both of them are crying. But the girl is now gone from the earth. The man clutched the letter in his hand.

“I will keep this letter . . Forever . .”

Those were his words once he had read the letter from the girl he had loved from the first sight of her. He had loved her since then, but she never knew. The man took out his phone, and read all her text messages that he kept when they were young.

“Hey , Maurice . . Guess what ? I am in loooove ! I am like , deeply in love .”

One tear escaped.

“Maurice , just to leave you a goodnight message . Good night , sweet dreams , hugs and kisses ! Haha . I was just joking , okay ? Of course I am not in love with you . . By the way , have a nice sleep ! Dream of your beautiful girlfriend !”

The man is crying now. He can cry as much as he want. The letter was truly touching.

He will never forget her.

And this is the story where a love can have a tragic end.

---

I'm sorry for the long post. ;n; But this is a crying corner, so I would love to get some feedbacks... I want to make more tragic stuffs. And "My All For You" is somehow based on a true story.

T.T this is one of my fav Rin's song...paired to Len's prisoner...you just,,made me want to cry..T.T

I know, it is one of my favorite Rin's songs too. <3


I'm sorry I made you want to cry, but that's the main point orz.

Sorry I haven't read the whole thing yet.. but I just had to say this..
I had a dream just like that! It was two apartment buildings right next to each other and it was about a guy and a girl who were locked in their rooms (Idkwhy) And they communicated with paper airplanes lol XD
Now time to finish reading it :D